Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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