Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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