I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
