It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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