just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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