Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
