in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
