You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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