no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
