Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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