I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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