Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
