Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I cockslap morals
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
