it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
