pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
