Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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