We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
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nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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