Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
