This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize