a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
