get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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