I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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