Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
