im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
