I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
