I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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