ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
