Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
