Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
