he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
