I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
