They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize