I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize