I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize