Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
