Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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