I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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