I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
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It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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