i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
