Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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