I am puke
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
