you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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