my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
