Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
