dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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