Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
