bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
