Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
