he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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