my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
