Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
