Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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