Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she told me i tasted like america
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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