If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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