Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
