i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
