is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize