I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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