brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
